Allow your heart to break for this: A Reflection on the Killing of Black People in America
If this message seems late it’s because I was privileged enough to be numb, to feel a sort of disconnected righteous indignation. I refused to engage with the feeling behind it as a self-defense mechanism. I had to make a conscious effort to sit with it and feel it because it was only then that I could properly respond.
When you choose to come out of the numbness, to allow yourself to really feel the weight of the death and despair of slain black lives, all that is waiting for you there are sadness and anger. When you stop just reposting because you know it’s the right thing to do, when you allow yourself to engage with the emotion that comes from witnessing the frequency in which your brothers and sisters are murdered in the streets, not just by a person but by a system, that’s when the tears start to flow endlessly.
The tears pour hot and angry down your face. If you have a heart that can empathize with the humanity of another innocent soul, if you allow yourself to step outside of yourself and recognize that their pain is your pain, if for just a second you stop and become self-aware enough to realize the privilege in your ability to distance yourself from the deep sorrow of black murder, then those tears begin to feel like a useless betrayal. They feel unhelpful in light of what needs to be done.
But then you realize if you are not actively against hatred, you are for it. There is no in-between, your inaction is cooperation with the oppressor. There is shame in acknowledging the fact that you would rather do nothing and ensure that change never happens instead of doing something with the risk that things will remain the same. It is at this moment that you have a choice to make. Act or ignore.
Photo: Jordan Strowder/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images
I am not one to be violent but can’t you understand the violence of those whose existence is being destroyed before their very eyes. Can’t you understand the rage behind a person who feels that if death is imminent then they may as well go out swinging? Can’t you, for a second, imagine the strength it takes after 300 years of horrific oppression to become something different than the person they tried to make you into. You may not be moved to rage and violence but that is because the system has not yet knocked on your front door, ready to dismantle everything you’ve worked so hard to build. I may not be there but I can understand
Do not just repost. Go deeper. Allow your heart to break for this. Connect, really connect to the humanity of those lives that were lost. Your ability to empathize is a gift. Cultivate it and let it drive you to action that lasts beyond this moment. Do not just post so people can see that you posted and think that you care. Really care. Do not get irritated by the flood of coverage on this tragedy everywhere you look. Do not allow yourself to wait for a return to regularly scheduled programming.
The death of black bodies has always been a reoccurring special on the channel of American consciousness. Death is now being televised but the revolution will not be. It cannot be because it will happen in your mind & in your heart. It is hard and uncomfortable work- allowing yourself to feel but if you can manage, try to do it anyways. There is a privilege in your ability to disassociate from the reality some people have to live every day. Act. Do something. but don’t do just anything without setting your intention towards real change.
This message is for everyone because as much as we see the hearts of black people breaking for the death of George Floyd and the countless other lives lost at the hands of a murderous system, the reality is that there are those of us (black immigrants and non-blacks) who are all too comfortable sitting in the silence of our suburbs, unable to hear the riots outside our windows, blessed enough to be numb, lucky enough not to get called out because our privilege isn’t white, or because our ancestors faced a different fate and this struggle isn’t baked into our DNA. Stop. This message is for you too.
Art by Nikkolas Smith
Blog Cover Art belongs to Sacrée Frangrine