Day 20
John 20:15-16
He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).
Why didn’t Mary recognize Jesus? She looked at him, but she didn’t SEE him. In other words, she didn’t recognize Jesus as her Teacher, who had just died on the cross, until he called her by name. Once Jesus identified her, she could identify him. There was no indication that Jesus’ physical appearance changed after he was resurrected. Therefore, Mary’s lack of recognition wasn’t about who she was looking at. It was about her own eyes. Before she could see Jesus for who he was, she needed to know she was seen. In her distress, she was blinded to the truth standing right before her– the light of the world is alive. Unlike Mary, Thomas– often referred to as doubting Thomas– didn’t even get the chance to misidentify Jesus. He was missing when Jesus appeared, so he never set eyes on the Lord. Instead of settling for a second-hand account of the risen Christ, Thomas demanded his own encounter. The world is often hard on poor Mr. Thomas, referring to him as doubting Thomas.
I believe this is the wrong designation. Thomas may have doubted, but it didn’t lead to despair; it led to desire. I don’t know if he was grabbing groceries or what, but for some reason, Thomas didn’t see what everyone else saw. I like him because he was honest enough not to pretend that he believed how everyone believed. He wasn’t filled with joy and confidence that their savior had risen from the dead, so he didn’t fake it. He looked for what he needed. If Jesus wanted the disciples to have enough faith to believe without seeing, then he wouldn’t have appeared to them and showed them evidence that he was the one who died on the cross. Not only did Jesus provide physical evidence of his resurrection to the 10 disciples, but he also gave them the Holy Spirit. Thomas missed this encounter and had to wait 8 whole days to see what everyone was so excited about. That time, caught between doubt and desire, must have felt like an eternity for Thomas, but Jesus didn’t leave him there. He came to give Thomas what he needed to turn his doubt into belief the same exact way he appeared to all the other disciples. If you are looking for intimacy with Jesus, you will find it. This is a guarantee. He doesn’t call us to blind faith. He calls us to redefine the truth by the reality of his revelation. You can’t believe a revelation you’ve never received. So, the call to intimacy is an invitation to seek. Jesus might not reveal himself to you in the same way and at the same time as everyone else. But trust me, if you wait on him and allow your desire to be greater than your doubt, he WILL show himself to you miraculously.
Next Steps
Read John chapter 20 and take notes, making observations and asking questions as you read.
Mediate on 1 or 2 verses that stood out to you. Focus on what they reveal about God and how the Spirit is inviting you to respond. Find a helpful guide to biblical meditation here.
Write down whatever the Holy Spirit puts on your heart.
Reflection Questions
Reflect on a time you’ve found yourself in a position like Thomas where you knew what people said about Jesus but you needed to encounter him for yourself. Are you in that season right now? You may believe one dimension of God, but what aspect of him do you still need to experience for yourself— provider, healer, comforter, deliverer? Go to God and honestly tell him the truth about the revelation of God you need in this season.
Prayer Points
Lord open the eyes of my heart and increase my spiritual sensitivity so that I not only see you as savior but recognize you as Lord over my whole life.
Lord I pray that I will not miss the appointed time for my encounter in Jesus name.
Lord, I want to encounter you in an undeniable way. Show me your manifest presence. Let me never grow discouraged on the journey of desire in Jesus name.
Lord your word says the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives on the inside of me. Help me to recognize the power I carry and never forget that my access comes from intimacy. May the secret place be my dwelling place in Jesus name.
